I’ve seen a lot of misinformation about events that have happened in my life, and if my history is going to be brought up so much I think I should officially set the record straight on what happened in the past, and who I am now.
Never have I molested or groomed a child, if I did I would be in prison right now. What I did do was befriend a child; there was nothing sexual happening between us. And while as a MAP I do feel sexual attraction towards children, what I felt more was a familial, nurturing love.
I made social media posts misrepresenting the way that I felt, making jokes about “grooming” when in reality I was just wanting to be nice to her because I liked her. I only said those things because of the culture of the space I was in and my lifelong repression of being a MAP.
These days I can see that the way I handled these feelings was inappropriate and objectifying. I was attracted to her, but I should not have broadcasted those feelings to the world. Since then I have learned a lot about treating my sexuality and those I’m attracted to with respect. I’ve also learned more about youthlib and how to be sex positive without objectifying others.
We can’t go back in time to change the things that we’ve done, we can only change who we are today and not make the same mistakes. I am still a MAP, among other things. I am still a childlover, and I still believe that is nothing to be ashamed of. I am proud of the work I have done to bring this community together, but no one is perfect and we all do things we regret; the thing we should be proud of the most is becoming a better person, which I think I have been.
I try as hard as I can to be a good person. If I ever slip up, please talk to me about it respectfully. I’d rather have a conversation than just be yelled at. I’ve been going through changes lately, some good and some bad, but I feel like I’m at a point in my life where I’m healing, and I want to be as good as a person as I can possibly be.
Stay radical <<33
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