Activism is a word that gets thrown around radqueer circles a lot, it's a concept that our community latches onto, hoping that someday "activism" will save us. We see a lot of people (including myself, admittedly) calling themselves activists, and they wear that title like a badge of honor, garnering respect from people in the community that look up to them, hoping they'll be their savior. Activism is indeed a real thing, but I think the way our community has turned it into a buzzword does more harm than good.
The idea of activism is an appealing one: a few brave souls out there will put it all on the line. They'll brave doxxing and death threats because they provide some amount of good to the radqueer community, good that the community envisions will lead to a future where radqueers across the globe can all be free and accepted. These activists put a lot of work into their cause, and we cheer them on in support to ensure that they'll keep doing so.
This community tends to define activism pretty loosely. If I asked you to describe it, how would you? Would you say that activism is running a blog? Is it existing openly as yourself? Is it arguing with antis online? These are just a few things that people tend to put under the definition of activism, but when we look at activists in real life, there's a stark difference. Activists in real life are ones who fight for a cause, volunteering all their free time into it, collaborating with others to make a change. I'm not saying that what we do isn't real activism, but there's a difference between, say, running a blog and protesting bad legislature.
The point I'm trying to make is that, in our community, activism has lost its meaning. It's gone from a word that implies furthering actual social change, to a word that describes doing something, anything. And it is better than nothing, I'm glad we have people like this in our communities. I'm not saying we should all be out there holding signs protesting age of consent laws, but I think the way activism has become a buzzword has harmed the actual meaning of the word, and its created a goalpost that's a lot closer to where we already are than it should be.
But I think the biggest harm activism does is distract people from the real battle. We think that a brave few activists are going to fight for the rights of our community, and that by arguing online and running social media websites we're making a difference. And we are making a difference, but that difference is never going to bring us to where we need to be. No amount of activism will ever take us from where we are now to the future we want to be in.
Stonewall didn't happen because of gay activist groups. In fact, gay activist groups like ILGA and NAMbLA formed after Stonewall. Stonewall wasn't an act of activism, and it surely wasn't started by a select few people. Stonewall was led by a community that was tired of hiding. People weren't trying to make a difference, they were trying to live authentic lives.
I've mentioned before something that I've noticed in this community, the way people rely on our leaders to do everything for them. We think that leaders are people who fight our battles, when they're really people who lead our battles. This line of thinking is a trap that tricks us into thinking it's okay to do nothing. We think that if some people are being brave and doing what needs to be done, then we don't.
Some hear this and think that what I mean is that we all need to do activism, but that's not what I'm talking about. The fact of the matter is that we're never going to get anywhere if we just wait for our leaders to fight our battles for us. If we trust them, we must follow in their example, because our community isn't going to gain acceptance if we don't. If our community leaders are out there, being brave and forming real, in-person connections, then we should be too. This isn't activism, it's just living an authentic life.
Another misconception people have is that we have to change the whole world. We set our goals really high, try as hard as we can to reach them, and then get burnt out when doing so proves impossible. Change doesn't happen at a global scale, just look at how many places it's still illegal to be gay in. I know I mention Stonewall a lot, but look at the effects a small, local event like Stonewall had. The people there weren't trying to change the world, but when they had to fight, the impact was heard around the world. Our activism cannot start on the global scale, we have to start small, and then we can try to scale things larger, but if Stonewall is any example then we probably won't even have to try to make it big, it'll get big anyways.
Also, on the topic of Stonewall, this is something I'm guilty of, but a lot of people idolize the idea of "having our Stonewall." I think a lot of the people who do don't know the history as well as they should, all they know is what happened because of it. This is clear in the case with a lot of queer people in the modern day, who didn't ever have to live through a time where being queer was illegal. Radqueers idolize the good things that came from Stonewall, wanting to have the effects that it brought without acknowledging the sacrifices that created it. Stonewall wasn't just some event that led to gay pride, it was a riot started by queer people when their worst fears of police came to pass. If we want something like Stonewall, we have to acknowledge what really happened and know that if we want our own rights we have to do the same thing. But as it is we idolize the good parts of Stonewall, the thing that its led to 50 years later, instead of what actually happened and the bravery of the community that made it possible.
Additionally, the internet isn't doing enough for us. It's done a lot of good, but I think a lot of harm as well. By giving people the chance to be anonymous and safe, we've completely lost sight of the dangerous conditions we need to brave in order to achieve acceptance. The internet will never bring us freedom, we must form in-person communities and support networks, but in-person community will never be 100% safe. As long as people choose to be safe and anonymous, we will never have our acceptance. Acceptance comes through changing minds, and that starts by living as our authentic selves. People are much more receptive to radqueer topics when it's a friend introducing them to it. When it's online, if someone is saying something they don't agree with, they just won't read it.
The idea of being our authentic selves in real life is scary, but we have ways to make it less so. Making radqueer friends, or even allies, is a great way to do so. Before they had their rights gay people created symbols and dogwhistles to identify each other. It was a risk to do so, but they didn't have any other choice if they wanted to beat loneliness. We have the symbols and flags, we can do the same thing. We also have the internet, which is a great help to meeting people. I started meeting lots of people online once I put my location out there. I know it's scary to do so, but it's something we're gonna have to do sooner or later if we want to live our own authentic lives. Additionally, many think that everyone is out to get us, but that's not true. I would say I know more allies than radqueers, you're safer than you'd think. Remember, there's a lot of us out there. Having friends and people who support us creates safety nets. If we get doxxed, we have people to protect us.
The internet is helpful, but all it will ever be is a supplement. We must look at history and face the truth: has a single civil rights movement ever succeeded because of the internet? If the answer is no, then maybe we should acknowledge that and look at what has worked throughout history. We must follow the example of people like Rosa Parks who decided they'd had enough, and did the right thing even when it was dangerous, and Martin Luther King Jr., who fought bravely to lead his people. Though we must not forget that these people did not do all the work for their movements. Rosa Parks was not the only one to do the bus boycotts, she was just the first, and when people saw the example of her bravery, they decided to join in because they knew they had the power to make a change as a collective. These are the people that history remembers because they were important, but we let that blind us to the fact that they didn't work alone. Thousands of people fought for the rights of people of color, people who's names will be forever lost to history. We have to remember this when we're fighting for our own rights.
I've seen where our people are, we aren't ready for real activism. We won't be for a long time. I'm not asking people to make a change because I know people don't just change like that. I'm just asking us to change how we look at things and compare it to what has actually worked. We must look at history and think critically about what will earn us the future we deserve.
I've been told that in order for people to be brave, they need someone brave to follow. I'm not asking you to follow me or anyone else today, I just want you to know that someday someone brave will have to lead, and people, including you, will have to be brave and follow. That day won't be today or tomorrow, but it'll happen someday, and when it does we need to be prepared by acknowledging what is and isn't going to get us our rights. If we let the idea of online activism blind us to what's truly going to make a change, then we're never going to make that change, especially if we'd rather stay where we can be safe and anonymous. Initial change is never intentional; it comes when people are just trying to live their lives. That's the most important part. Afterwards is when leaders and rights organizations pop up.
Activists in our community have made a large difference, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for people making websites like VoA or freak.university. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for people like Katie Cruz. But that only goes so far, and at some point we need to go further. That'll only happen if someone makes a change and the community follows. However, we will never remember who threw the first brick at Stonewall, and odds are we'll never remember who threw the first brick when the MAP movement truly begins. It'll just have been someone who decided they'd had enough, backed by their community.
- Ally K <3
Comments
Wonderfully written piece. You're a very clear and concise writer.
Who threw the first brick of the MAP Movement, is probably an unknown friend / colleague of gay activists Michael Hanson and Ian Dunn, only the latter of whom is remembered today because of his public prominence in later life... Or you could look at PAL, PIE's predecessor, whose members have mostly been forgotten or remain in barely read footnotes of history. You could go further back, to the Netherlands with Enclave King, where Frits Bernard founded what was in-effect the first MAP organization, himself inspired by the persecution of gay (pederastic, probably pedophilic) writer Jan Hanlo. [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jan_Hanlo ].
With all my years spent reading on the subject, it's clear to me that there really was an international movement in the 1950s-1970s, but this was when "pedophilia" was an obscure concept lifted from psychiatric literature, not thought of as dangerous or evil personified. (You largely have the British press in the 1970s to thank for kicking off that change!)
There have been many real life communities established over the years, some more successful in organizing and resisting disbandment than others. My question for you is: how far are you willing to go? In America, Bill Andriette in his 20s went on national television with Larry King. [ https://fstube.net/w/8pRKkszH8ovcmPmqzg1jfe ]. Do you think you, or anyone you've met, would take up an equivalent opportunity were it available to them? There's plenty of podcasts out there who'd be happy to have you on, or even a national outlet like Channel 4 news in Britain which has had Tom O'Carroll on via phone call...
Now, in fairness, PIE was long gone by that point. NAMBLA fizzled out after expending all its collective resources on the Etan Patz case, which had attempted to falsely frame the group as a harbinger for sadistic rapist child-murderers. That received national attention, alongside many sensationalist documentaries like the one about the NAMBLA stalwart and openly pedophile teacher Peter Melzer, who fought a legal battle to retain his right to teach after being 'exposed' by the documentary. A student from his school wrote in support of him for the school newspaper. The court ruled that he couldn't be fired for his identity or lawful off-campus activities, but he could be moved out of the classroom... Can you even *imagine* the kind of earth-shattering fallout that would happen today if Peter's reincarnation brought a similar legal case? Mass hysteria! Libsoftiktok would fall off her chair in excitement!! NAMBLA had a *ton* of real life community, authentic roots stemming from the gay movement, money and early access to new technology (thanks to Peter Melzer). [ https://wiki.yesmap.net/wiki/Peter_Melzer ]
These people were still able - if they weren't arrested in stings over technicalities or bad decisions as some were - to live relatively normal lives after their period of activism had ended. This is partly because it was all pre-internet days. An article was published in the newspaper, then it quickly became history. That's easier to move on from than YouTube 'expose' videos with your face, name, voice and address plastered all over it, set to spooky music and making you out to be public enemy number 1 to a global audience of potentially millions. (And god help you if you're not conventionally attractive)...
If police raided your home tomorrow, would you still keep posting? When this fear is a legitimate one that has and did happen to NAMBLA members, PIE members, etc. in much more reasonable times than our own, is it any wonder that people don't want to be involved publicly? All I'm saying is that, if your organization does start to grow to the point it's considered a threat, or capable of making any meaningful dent in mass consciousness, you may face at least some tangible physical risks, including visits from law enforcement...
I do think you're right in your approach: IRL over online is much better for building something that lasts and isn't just larping. B4U-ACT has very successfully built up real life community, so it's not impossible and you're clearly doing well with Beyond the Plus. But god, don't you ever feel like the obstacles are too great, the barriers too many?
I hope you'll continue what you're doing. I just hope you'll also find a way to finance yourself or keep money coming in that can withstand mass pressure / scrutiny. Peter Melzer was a miser his whole life and fought an expensive legal case to keep his job; other's weren't so fortunate. Real life community, I've heard, did save many of them. People who'd otherwise have been homeless had friends to stay with, etc. I just hope that, if you're serious about building up MAP sympathetic community - (you could go to a NARSOL meeting?!) - you'll also build up your skills that'll help you exist comfortably in a money economy. That worry alone - the jobs worry - is a massive barrier itself, which is part of why activism in general is considered the province of the young...
Keep going, and good luck! Prue - [ https://wiki.yesmap.net/wiki/User:Prue ]
I think the best thing one can do is open up to friends and family in real life. They already know you, so the chances of them turning against you are very low. It has immediate benefits for you personally, and slower but broader benefits for “our cause,” as people will talk about it and spread the word.
And when shit happens, you already have a safety net — people who will stay on your side — making it easier to worry less and less about being doxxed. Everyone you care about already knows, so what’s the big deal?
In my specific case, my sex life improved dramatically after I came out to my wife. And after opening up to more and more family members, I also found out that my nephew is the same as me, which improved our relationship a lot - we became real friends, in a way, sharing a secret.
My friends now advocate for our cause in pubs (mostly unsuccessfully, according to them) and discuss it with their spouses (with much greater success).
If more people did the same, more people would understand, bringing us at least a little closer to general acceptance.
In the public sphere, I think winning over researchers and psychologists is still the most beneficial thing we can do right now. Influencing public perception will take time, and it may require a catalyst outside our control, but when the right moment comes, having a substantial body of sympathetic research will certainly help.
Fighting anonymous battles on the internet will not take us anywhere.
I agree with this hard. Unfortunately most people I tell this to will give some reason as to why they can't come out. And I'm sure there are a lot of people who genuinely can't, but I'm not convinced that everyone who says that actually means it
- Ally K <3
I am not saying it is easy. It might need some time, too. I didn’t tell everyone at once either - some family members still don’t know and might never know. But every person who knows and accepts you and likes you anyway is such a positive thing in life - very well worth the trouble.
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